The “Be-With” Training- Jan Mutter

The “Be-With” Training- Jan Mutter

Jan Mutter, the Intergenerational Discipleship Coordinator of the South Central Association of Baptist Churches (CBOQ) attended the “Be With” Training in Toronto ON on July 21st.
This “Be With” training was hosted by Keith Cote, Vice President of LEAD222 Cote’s training is relevant for Youth Ministry and also for ministry with Elementary aged children as we seek to be healthy mentors and leaders.  Enjoy some notes Jan has taken for us and and has shared with the CBOQ family.



As we enter a mentoring relationship with teens (or anyone) we need to spend more time with God.

Working definition of mentoring: 

“One person modeling and passing on to a willing learner in a relational seeing knowledge, skills and a basic philosophy about Christ-likeness in all area of life.”

As a mentor I should:

  1. WISER – Have mentors who are older than myself who build into me.
  2. PEERS INSIDE MINISTRY – Have peers I serve alongside of in a specific ministry setting who do what I do or have similar level of responsibility. (iron sharpening iron)
  3. PEERS OUTSIDE OF MINISTRY – Friends and others who are not part of the specific ministry in which I serve.
  4. YOUNGER – Those I lead who are younger than myself spiritually.


Be sure to establish my own mentoring relationships before getting started in mentoring others.

Mentoring is   = intentional relationships

= modeling how a mature Christ follower does life

= looks for teachable moment in everyday situations


Recommendation:  Start a mentoring group at Grade 6 (transition year from children to youth ministry.)  Offer as options for others.  Add grades 7 – 12 gradually.  This is a long-term strategy.

Group Mentoring program that Keith runs:

  1. Good Finder moments – kids share “How did I reflect God this week?” “What am I doing right?”
  2. Bible Message (large group)
  3. Small Groups for discussion and prayer.
    1. Use older students as leaders.
    2. These students should be in a mentoring relationship with someone older in the faith.

Note:  Affinity within the group helps (i.e. same high school or church).  Guys group is separate from girls – this take a lot of pressure off!  They meet together 1/month.


Get Parents on-board to mentor their own children at home!

(don’t forget that Grandparents can help, too.)

  • Message:  You will disciple your children one way or another.  Choose to do it positively!!
  • Church should commit to helping parents learn to do this.
  • Keith’s list includes helping parents to do these things:
    1. What do you want your family to turn out like? Discuss preparing a family mission statement.  Here is a sample:
      1. Remember what God has done for us in such a way that it would change our lives daily.
      2. Discover the deep mysteries of God’s Word and let it shape and guide us
  • Invest in the community of our family, our friends and our church
  1. Impact the world by the things we do and say.
  1. Talk and pray about this responsibility as parents
  2. Help kids discover how God has wired them – passion, personal style, giftedness
  3. Make the tough choices to put family first.
  4. Help families create traditions that are fun and/or communicate faith
  5. Encourage parents to let their kids see them seeking God (Reading your Bible, praying, serving, etc.)
  6. Ask kids to take their knowledge about God and move it from their head to their heart – in other words, make a commitment to Christ
  7. Encourage parents to teach kids to ‘take the harder road’. Life is full of decisions.  Because we want to help our kids turn out well, we need to make these decisions.  Kids need to understand that.
  8. Simple family pleasures are important
  9. Be tuned to what your kids are really asking for
  10. After teaching kids, release them to do things in their own way, but with the goal in mind.
  11. Open their eyes to the world – their privilege and their responsibility



Idea to develop a pray team for your ministry:

  1. Ask people at your church to pray for your ministry (kids-youth) 1 time a month. Almost everyone will commit to this!
  2. Get them to sign-up for a specific day in the month. The more people the better!
  3. Issue prayer requests 1/month. You might include – general prayer for the ministry, praying for leadership needs in groups, praying about topics being taught, praying for each volunteer, praying for God to grant a harvest.


5 Questions:   Is your Team Healthy and Effective?

  1. How am I wired?
    • Find out who your leaders are by discovering
      1. Their PASSION
      2. Their PERSONAL STYLE
  • Ask them to complete this sentence…

I feel God’s pleasure when I am doing ____________________ .

  1. What is my part?
    • Definition of success for their role – lay out expectations
    • Responsibilities – be clear about these
    • Qualifications and skills – what do they bring?


  1. How does it fit?
    • Does this ministry fit their with schedule
    • Does this ministry fit with their season of life

By taking the time to work with potential volunteers up front, you gain a friend, even if they can’t help out right now.


  1. Am I supplied for success?
    • Information – what do they need to know?
    • Care – be sure to care for your leaders
    • Training – teach what they need to use
    • Released – let them do the task in their own way as long as the end result is the agreed on desired result


  1. Does it matter?
    • Does what we do in youth mentoring matter? Yes or No?  Why?                                 Ministry is about life change.  How do you visualize change in the lives of these kids?  The answer to this will keep you going.  Keep encouraging people about why they do what they are doing in ministry!

Check out the resources that LEAD222 has to offer, especially the “Coaches in Training” program.

“The Be With Factor:  mentoring students in everyday life” is a book you may want to look at


Jan Mutter 
Intergenerational Discipleship
South Central Association of Baptist Churches (CBOQ)



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